No, There Isn't 2 in There!

Alright, this post is a long time coming. Especially because at this point I am used to it and have just come to expect these sorts of comments from people. Since the very first moment you could even tell I was pregnant, I have been getting comments from people at work, people at the mall, gym - everywhere - that have really made me aware of the etiquette that needs to be taught to the general public regarding women (and one pregnant man) who are "with child." So let me take a second to fill you in on what I mean...

1 - When you see a pregnant woman and think to yourself, "Wow, she is really pregnant!" Before you express your thoughts to this poor girl, stop, there is no way on earth she is as far along as you think she is. Here is a tip - take the number of months you think she is, and immediately subtract 2 months. I will be having a great day thinking, "Hey! I look good!" and all it takes is someone to say - "Whoa! Don't pop that thing out right here!" This doozie I heard when I was a mere 5 months pregnant. Ouch.

2 - Comments like, "Hey, that kid is coming early!" and my personal favorite, "Wow, that is a BIG baby!" are really unnecessary. The size of one's belly has nothing to do with the size of the baby, or when he/she will be born. Hearing these comments only makes the mom-to-be think, "Good God, I am huge." And contrary to the popular belief that women should just accept the fact that they are packing on the pounds simply because they are growing a human, it is still hard to get fat. Yes, we accept it eventually, but it is still an off limits subject to discuss unless you are married to the preggo woman. (And even then....be careful)

3 - Final tip - Never, yes, NEVER assume that the woman is incubating more than one kid! This seems to happen to most of us as we near the end. It's like people think that there is no way to explain the gigantic ball of belly that we are carrying around unless we are preparing to birth multiple children. Pregnant people have an actual child in them, not a barbie-size doll or a beanie baby - a HUMAN. And mistaking this one baby for two is ...... well, insulting. Someone actually said to me, "Are you sure there aren't two in there?" Really? You're right, I am so huge that I better check with my doctor to see if by mistake I am having twins. Thank you for noticing!

Really, just tell the pregnant ladies that you come across that they are "looking great" or keep a lid on it. We know what we look like, no need for comments from the peanut gallery. Unless you are married to us, then we are the most beautiful beings in the world. Which, we are after all since we are carrying your child. And even if we look like complete hell, find a way to comment on this fact. Thank you, Brian for being that sort of husband, while helping me laugh at the comments about my size and occasionally yelling, "Look out! Incoming!" when I walk down the hall. :)